Time to put it all on the table so put your feeling away.
The problem with a lot of black men are their mothers.
I said it and I'm going to say it again.
The problem with a lot of black men are their MOTHERS!
I can talk about this, I have a son.
Why? You ask.
Well, a lot of black mothers don't see their sons as their sons, they see them as their boyfriends.
See, what people don't realize is that children watch everything, that's were every behavior is learnt.
But when you have a women with unresolved male issues raising a boy or boys, she wants them to grow up like anything besides that no good man from her past. But mama has issues with men she hasn't been able to work out so she molds that boy into the same man she doesn't want him to like because subconsciously that the kind of man mama wants.
I mean, there are several variations but here are the most common males that come out of relationships with their mothers.
(Or grandmothers. To many mothers have raised their children, their grandchild and in some cases, great grand children. Give these women a break. Please)
The exaggeration of male stereotypical behavior, such as an emphasis on physical strength, aggression, and sexuality. This term can be pejorative, though it is also used when examining the behavior (as adaptive or maladaptive) dispassionately
The thugs, gang banger, dough boys, trap boys, the loud boys, the "I ain't scared of death boys", the "real shit, I'm about that Iife boys", the "I'll pop you boys" and the famous "I don't give a fuck" boys.
See what the mothers did in these situations was tell there sons that they'll grow up to be nothing but a carbon copy of the father. Spineless, weak and unmanly.
They grow up wanting to show mama how much of a man they can be.
The Effeminate type:
This is were a woman goal with her son-boyfriend is to shelter and show him harsh realities at the same time.
riend showers the boys in gifts and luxuries to compensate for what the absent father hasn't. She makes sure his sneakers are never scoffed, his hands well moisturized and the best of the best from labels to ice-cream, mamas little baby gets it all.
Now, I'm not saying that parents shouldn't buy there kids nice things, but when your little son-boyfriend is bad as all hell, can't read or write in the fourth grade, you aren't truly caring for your son, you're making him dependent on YOU!
See, the problem here is, you don't want your son to go without a thing because had his father stepped up, your son wouldn't be so sad and distraught to need all the thing to keep him happy.
Stop it! You role is to nurture and provide and equip him with the knowledge that he needs and if you can't, find someone who will.
These boys usually grow up as the, I need a fresh lay type, the whining, she just wants my money type, the need to make sure mama is taken care of first type cause you know she worked hard and it's time to pay her back type. The " are my underwear and my socks matching types, the straight-tight leg wearing, are those jeans from baby gap type of guys.
The "mama said its okay to live at home until my late thirties type. And their mother will fight you hand and foot over these boys. Stay clear ladies.
Then we have the care-takers
This is a group I feel really bad for. These mothers commit some of the worst atrocities towards there sons.
These mothers need there sons to know how bad they hurt so the sons can one day fix the situations mama put herself and baby in.
This son wipes every tear, works hard, always does what right, always thinking of how mother is going to feel.
You are tearing these boys apart. They will grow up to be successful and well mannered but deep inside they're doing nothing but trying to fill that void in the mothers hurt. Your children are not responsible for your mistakes ladies nor are they responsible for taking of your ass once they're grown.
Mother, nurture, knowledge, that's what you pass on, not you baggage.
Now, I do have one last type of son and he's born of the ratchet mother.
He will be total destruction.
Ratchet mothers, if its to late for an abortion, seek adoption. If you aren't pregnant, seek planned parent hood. If you can't find the number..... Jump.