Monday, July 29, 2013

U HEARD/ I SAID (Dear HearSay)

Dear HearSay,

I am a married woman. My husband and I had a child 6 years ago but I cheated and he doesn't know. I always suspected my child isn't his but I figured what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Lately my child has been going through some serious health problems and she may end up need a blood transfusion. Her doctor called me Friday and told me that neither of us are a donor match which means that my husband is not her father. I don't know what to do and I feel so stupid. I can't tell anyone in my family because they hate the man that is actually her father. I hate him too and do not want him in my or my daughters life but he could actually help save her life. That man is a drug dealer and he already has 4 kids he doesn't take care of. My husband is a damn good man but we were just starting out when I heated. I feel like this one bad choice is going to ruin my life. What should I do? Please don't judge me.

Sincerely,
Scared and Confused


Dear,
Scared and Confused

Let me start off by saying only God can judge you and I'm only here for advice. The thing you should fear most is the loss of your child because you honestly can move on if your husband decides he can't forgive you, in other words, it's selfish and completely wrong of you not to tell him at this point and allow him to make an educated decision on whether or not he still wants to be with you. Your kid is sick and regardless of how you personally feel about the man that could be her father, you knew those things about him when you cheated on your damn good man with him. Exes are exes for a reason and now here you are some odd years later with a secret that can pull him head first back into your life. The best policy right now would have to be honesty! You want your husband to find out from YOU, not the doctor, not your family, and certainly not this man that you claim to be a loser. You must put the health of your child before your fear of losing a good man because we all have to live with the consequences of the decisions we make, past and present. I wish you and your family the best and I hope you get the courage to sit down with your husband and try your best to make him understand. If not, that's something you have to deal with but I'm sure it will be easier to get over than he potential loss of your child.

Sincerely,
Elle Sweetest

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